By jacking up the cosmic balance, Americans everywhere gain two additional benefits: the worst collapse in baseball history wipes the smirk off of the obnoxious Yankee fans and their sense of smug entitlement. And the amazing comeback should mostly wipe out all those narcissistic pronouncements of romantic suffering from self-obsessed Sox fans. (But you know, you still got to let us Sox fans have our day. If you aren't moved by this thread, expressing all the dashed hopes of generations of Sox fans who didn't live to see this moment, your last name is probably Cheney.)
Are the Yanks now cursed by A-Rod? If I believed in curses, then maybe. I like the line about how the Sox were like Michael Corleone, taking out 86 years of vengeance last night in great final hurrah. Aura and Mystique, slain in one night.
Last navel-gazing suffering Sox fan link: this Peter King column is really good.
Bring on the _______!
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
The burden of history
One team's like Dodi, the dude who's got the billionaire dad, the smooth, practiced charm of a man born to wealth and privilege, and the princess as his date. The other is like the awkward guy on the other side of the tracks who's always making the move just when the girl falls in love with someone else.
It's an old story. The Pinstripes against the Dirt Dogs. The clean-cut, buttoned-down pretty boys led by golden boys A-Fraud (to quote Sports Guy, a guy who'd turn over an 'R' in Scrabble and pretend it's a blank letter) and Captain Intangibles vs. the scruffy, unkempt working class types symbolized by unwashed baseball caps and dreadlocks.
Overblown metaphors and superstitions aside, tonight will see the most intense rivalry in sports, with a new script but the same old actors. On one side you have the Yankees, the most decorated franchise in sports, with a $180 million payroll and a couple of the most fearsome hitters in baseball, a team who, in the course of the season, has made miraculous comebacks seem expected -- routine even. On the other, a team synonomous with snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, for teasing fans with hope only to break their hearts in ways nobody can imagine.
Game 6 saw one of the most heroic performances I've ever seen in sports. Curt Schilling had his skin sutured to his bone to prevent his tendon from popping. With his right sock soaked in his own blood (appropriately, Mr. Red Sock), he pitched 7 crafty innings, locating his pitches to keep the Yankees at bay and give the depleted Sox bullpen a needed breather. It saw calls the Yankees always get -- interference, home-runs that never were -- reversed. Correctly. And in the last three games we've seen those damn Yankees, all those legendary "clutch" players, falter in key situations time and again. Even Captain Intangibles himself, Derek Jeter, choked.
To this point, this series has seen a reversal of roles, with the Yankees on the verge of the biggest collapse in baseball history, and the Sox on the brink of an improbable comeback. No team has ever come back from 3-0 to force a 7 game in baseball history. The Red Sox have done it, in three of the most dramatic games anyone has ever seen. Win this last game, and they can wash away that entire dubious history of missed ground balls, people stealing home, and the 8th inning collapses. They would hang on their hated rivals a scarlet "C" -- the title of the biggest chokers in baseball history. If you believe in curses, this is the "reverse the curse" game, the culmination of the entire rivalry all in one game.
But the baseball gods are cruel. Like television writers, they usually manage a way to get to the same ending in new ways. And this might be the cruelest season yet, coming up with the most dramatic scenario imaginable to tease Sox fans only to see the Sox fumble away their best chance to overcome history.
Dear Baseball Gods: We've seen DerekJeter leap out of the dugout with his right arm raised one too many times. It is tiresome. If you do it again, this program will have jumped the shark. Please do something different, like the time when Tom beat Jerry. That one episode was awesome.
It's an old story. The Pinstripes against the Dirt Dogs. The clean-cut, buttoned-down pretty boys led by golden boys A-Fraud (to quote Sports Guy, a guy who'd turn over an 'R' in Scrabble and pretend it's a blank letter) and Captain Intangibles vs. the scruffy, unkempt working class types symbolized by unwashed baseball caps and dreadlocks.
Overblown metaphors and superstitions aside, tonight will see the most intense rivalry in sports, with a new script but the same old actors. On one side you have the Yankees, the most decorated franchise in sports, with a $180 million payroll and a couple of the most fearsome hitters in baseball, a team who, in the course of the season, has made miraculous comebacks seem expected -- routine even. On the other, a team synonomous with snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, for teasing fans with hope only to break their hearts in ways nobody can imagine.
Game 6 saw one of the most heroic performances I've ever seen in sports. Curt Schilling had his skin sutured to his bone to prevent his tendon from popping. With his right sock soaked in his own blood (appropriately, Mr. Red Sock), he pitched 7 crafty innings, locating his pitches to keep the Yankees at bay and give the depleted Sox bullpen a needed breather. It saw calls the Yankees always get -- interference, home-runs that never were -- reversed. Correctly. And in the last three games we've seen those damn Yankees, all those legendary "clutch" players, falter in key situations time and again. Even Captain Intangibles himself, Derek Jeter, choked.
To this point, this series has seen a reversal of roles, with the Yankees on the verge of the biggest collapse in baseball history, and the Sox on the brink of an improbable comeback. No team has ever come back from 3-0 to force a 7 game in baseball history. The Red Sox have done it, in three of the most dramatic games anyone has ever seen. Win this last game, and they can wash away that entire dubious history of missed ground balls, people stealing home, and the 8th inning collapses. They would hang on their hated rivals a scarlet "C" -- the title of the biggest chokers in baseball history. If you believe in curses, this is the "reverse the curse" game, the culmination of the entire rivalry all in one game.
But the baseball gods are cruel. Like television writers, they usually manage a way to get to the same ending in new ways. And this might be the cruelest season yet, coming up with the most dramatic scenario imaginable to tease Sox fans only to see the Sox fumble away their best chance to overcome history.
Dear Baseball Gods: We've seen DerekJeter leap out of the dugout with his right arm raised one too many times. It is tiresome. If you do it again, this program will have jumped the shark. Please do something different, like the time when Tom beat Jerry. That one episode was awesome.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Who said baseball was boring?
What an amazing night of baseball. After that 14 inning marathon between the Sox and the Yanks, I feel like my stomach's been chopped into Chinese sausages. That was epic baseball. Missed opportunities. Botched running plays. Bad calls. A double that bounced into the seat, saving the Sox's season. And above all, a heroic performance from a shot bullpen, with guys bringing absolutely nothing and still getting those vital outs. Timlin, Embree, Foulke, Arroyo, Myers, and above all, Wakefield were the big heroes. As always, the Sports Guy captures the fragile psyche of Red Sox Nation last night.
On the NL side, a well pitched game which ended in dramatic fashion, courtesy of Jeff Kent. But Carlos Beltran is the real difference-maker in that series, making that spectacular catch in CF and distracting Isringhausen on the basepaths that led to the fat pitch to Kent. Beltran is the superstar of the postseason thus far.
As I had been telling everyone over the weekend, I had been trying to emotionally divest myself of the Sox, who looked like they wouldn't even put up a fight. But everyone time I try to get out, they pull me back in. They squeezed two wins out in the most dramatic fashion possible, and I now spent the day pondering relief pitcher availability (the Sox basically need Schilling to go 6 or 7, and hope to scratch together a couple of innings from Mendoza, Lescanic, and possibly Lowe), and scouring every post on Sons of Sam Horn.
This is a special team. It's still likely the Sox will lose this Game 6, with healthy Sox nemesis Jon Lieber on the mound at home against a gimpy Schilling. But if the Sox's long and storied history of heartbreak ends this year, there's no better way to do it than to mount the greatest comeback in postseason history against their hated rivals.
Who knows? Maybe I'll even allow myself to hope. Just a little.
On the NL side, a well pitched game which ended in dramatic fashion, courtesy of Jeff Kent. But Carlos Beltran is the real difference-maker in that series, making that spectacular catch in CF and distracting Isringhausen on the basepaths that led to the fat pitch to Kent. Beltran is the superstar of the postseason thus far.
As I had been telling everyone over the weekend, I had been trying to emotionally divest myself of the Sox, who looked like they wouldn't even put up a fight. But everyone time I try to get out, they pull me back in. They squeezed two wins out in the most dramatic fashion possible, and I now spent the day pondering relief pitcher availability (the Sox basically need Schilling to go 6 or 7, and hope to scratch together a couple of innings from Mendoza, Lescanic, and possibly Lowe), and scouring every post on Sons of Sam Horn.
This is a special team. It's still likely the Sox will lose this Game 6, with healthy Sox nemesis Jon Lieber on the mound at home against a gimpy Schilling. But if the Sox's long and storied history of heartbreak ends this year, there's no better way to do it than to mount the greatest comeback in postseason history against their hated rivals.
Who knows? Maybe I'll even allow myself to hope. Just a little.
Monday, October 18, 2004
I wish capes would come back in fashion.
When's the last time it was acceptable for a guy to wear a cape? 19th century Italy? Whenever it was, the cape has been unfairly gathering dust in history's Salvation Army pile, treated like the powdered wig or the monacle. In fact, it is among the most dashing and heroic articles of clothing around. Thinking about it, I really wish someone would bring back the cape for men. Donning a cape, you'll feel like a cross between Napolean and Superman. Imagine how cool you'll feel when your cape flows in the wind. Or indulge in the stylistic flair of pulling your cape back, like a modern day Count Dracula.
Consider the other benefits:
* You can discreetly scratch your private areas when the cape drapes down over your body.
* You can chivalrically lay the cape over a puddle of water for your date to walk across.
* It can double as a pancho in case of unexpected rain.
* Tired of being decked out in the same striped button down worn by every other trendoid? No one's gonna mistake you -- a cool cape wearing fool -- for that tool spilling his beer on the dance floor.
* You can use it as a blanket at the movie theater to give your date more freedom to roam his/her hands around your lap.
* Using the bulletproof cloth Batman uses, you can block stray bullets if you're in a war zone or in a dangerous urban environs.
* A burgundy cape will add a dash of Bavarian flamboyance to the standard white shirt dark slacks.
* A teal cape and matching boots -- a Nineteenth century European officer look, if you're looking for military chic -- beats the bejeesus off the idiotic camouflage cap and pants explosion of 2002.
When the cape comes back in fashion, I will be a prime mover.
Consider the other benefits:
* You can discreetly scratch your private areas when the cape drapes down over your body.
* You can chivalrically lay the cape over a puddle of water for your date to walk across.
* It can double as a pancho in case of unexpected rain.
* Tired of being decked out in the same striped button down worn by every other trendoid? No one's gonna mistake you -- a cool cape wearing fool -- for that tool spilling his beer on the dance floor.
* You can use it as a blanket at the movie theater to give your date more freedom to roam his/her hands around your lap.
* Using the bulletproof cloth Batman uses, you can block stray bullets if you're in a war zone or in a dangerous urban environs.
* A burgundy cape will add a dash of Bavarian flamboyance to the standard white shirt dark slacks.
* A teal cape and matching boots -- a Nineteenth century European officer look, if you're looking for military chic -- beats the bejeesus off the idiotic camouflage cap and pants explosion of 2002.
When the cape comes back in fashion, I will be a prime mover.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Win some, lose some
Give John Kerry his due. During the primaries, I thought he was maybe the third or fourth best candidate to run against Bush. And during the mid-September suicide watch, Deaniac fervor returned with a vengeance as Dems watched helplessly while Kerry was tarred and feathered by a ruthless Bush campaign.
Smartly, Kerry changed his strategy and focused on Iraq, bringing in Clintonistas who revamped his floundering communications operation. Then came the debates, where Kerry really reversed the momentum of this race. If Kerry wins -- and I'm confident he will -- observers will largely focus on Bush's inadequacies, his scowls and twitches, and his repetitive, wacky, and largely unpresidential demeanor. In the three debates, Bush conspicuously wore three faces: Bitchy George, Furious George, and Smiley George. As some one put it on the Daily Kos, it seemed as if the Prez were on Ny-Quil the first time, cocaine the second, and prozac the third.
But I have to give big props to Kerry himself. He didn't strike out the side, but he came in and got the three outs he needed by remaining consistent. He made no gaffes and showed himself as a man ready to assume power. In doing so, he evinced a self-confidence in himself that both Bush and Gore (both of whom shifted their styles to mollify criticism of their previous appearances) lacked. In the final debate, he was again authoritative, upright, articulate, with a strong command of facts and policy. The Insta-polls declared Kerry the winner again, and I agree.
Despite the spittle on the side of his mouth, and the "Thank you Sir, may I have another" frat pledge smile pasted on his face the whole night, I did think Bush did pretty well. It was his best debate. He sounded sincere when talking about education and tolerance, and I think the left should lay off the "Bush sez poor people are dumb" line of attack. He's fundamentally correct that worker retraining and adult education are the most effective ways to salve the harsh effects of outsourcing -- a phenomenon that both candidates (to their credit) stated can't be completely reversed.
But Kerry was unflappable, consistent, and forceful. He was at his best when delivering unambiguous, concise answers in support of popular Democratic policies, like a raise in the minimum wage and the assault weapons ban. In those answers, he'll identify the problem in stark terms, say clearly what he'll do about it, and indict Bush's inaction on that issue as symptomatic of his wrong policy preferences. They're clean left jabs to the head. And he doesn't need to pander.
Bob Schieffer helped Kerry, if only because he presented some facts and figures in the question. And Bush's real opponent is not John Kerry but facts. Any question about "the rising cost of health care" or "the increased budget deficit" or "how to stem job losses" implicitly hurt the incumbent. Kerry needed only to amplify the failed record and present a credible plan. The only questions that play to Bush's advantage are the "character" questions, but even then, Kerry showed that, yes, Lurch could be warm and fuzzy, too.
In every debate, Kerry says something that the Bushies seize on for post-debate spin, like his "global test" remark. In this one, it turned out to be a poorly judged reference to Mary Cheney's lesbianism (not-so-subliminal message: "The Vice President has a LEZZZ-BIAN daughter!") On MSNBC's post-debate jab session, Buchanan and Scarborough ran with the Republican talking points, acting indignant that Kerry would deliver such a low blow. It seemed desperate until I saw this piece in the NY Times on folks in a focus group turned off by Kerry's reference. Expect the GOoPers to run with this one for a while, but I can't see it having much traction beyond a day or two of Faux News outrage.
Kerry remains in strong position with 19 days to go. And frankly, I'm beginning to actually want to help elect Kerry rather than just defeat Bush.
The Boston Brahmin was good in the clutch. He seized the moment. The same can't be said for the Boston Red Sox. Maybe it's better that way. If this year brings both a Bush loss and a Sox World Series win, I'd wake up on November 3rd with nothing to live for.
Best to pour your heart out for the Democrats. At least they win from time to time.
Smartly, Kerry changed his strategy and focused on Iraq, bringing in Clintonistas who revamped his floundering communications operation. Then came the debates, where Kerry really reversed the momentum of this race. If Kerry wins -- and I'm confident he will -- observers will largely focus on Bush's inadequacies, his scowls and twitches, and his repetitive, wacky, and largely unpresidential demeanor. In the three debates, Bush conspicuously wore three faces: Bitchy George, Furious George, and Smiley George. As some one put it on the Daily Kos, it seemed as if the Prez were on Ny-Quil the first time, cocaine the second, and prozac the third.
But I have to give big props to Kerry himself. He didn't strike out the side, but he came in and got the three outs he needed by remaining consistent. He made no gaffes and showed himself as a man ready to assume power. In doing so, he evinced a self-confidence in himself that both Bush and Gore (both of whom shifted their styles to mollify criticism of their previous appearances) lacked. In the final debate, he was again authoritative, upright, articulate, with a strong command of facts and policy. The Insta-polls declared Kerry the winner again, and I agree.
Despite the spittle on the side of his mouth, and the "Thank you Sir, may I have another" frat pledge smile pasted on his face the whole night, I did think Bush did pretty well. It was his best debate. He sounded sincere when talking about education and tolerance, and I think the left should lay off the "Bush sez poor people are dumb" line of attack. He's fundamentally correct that worker retraining and adult education are the most effective ways to salve the harsh effects of outsourcing -- a phenomenon that both candidates (to their credit) stated can't be completely reversed.
But Kerry was unflappable, consistent, and forceful. He was at his best when delivering unambiguous, concise answers in support of popular Democratic policies, like a raise in the minimum wage and the assault weapons ban. In those answers, he'll identify the problem in stark terms, say clearly what he'll do about it, and indict Bush's inaction on that issue as symptomatic of his wrong policy preferences. They're clean left jabs to the head. And he doesn't need to pander.
Bob Schieffer helped Kerry, if only because he presented some facts and figures in the question. And Bush's real opponent is not John Kerry but facts. Any question about "the rising cost of health care" or "the increased budget deficit" or "how to stem job losses" implicitly hurt the incumbent. Kerry needed only to amplify the failed record and present a credible plan. The only questions that play to Bush's advantage are the "character" questions, but even then, Kerry showed that, yes, Lurch could be warm and fuzzy, too.
In every debate, Kerry says something that the Bushies seize on for post-debate spin, like his "global test" remark. In this one, it turned out to be a poorly judged reference to Mary Cheney's lesbianism (not-so-subliminal message: "The Vice President has a LEZZZ-BIAN daughter!") On MSNBC's post-debate jab session, Buchanan and Scarborough ran with the Republican talking points, acting indignant that Kerry would deliver such a low blow. It seemed desperate until I saw this piece in the NY Times on folks in a focus group turned off by Kerry's reference. Expect the GOoPers to run with this one for a while, but I can't see it having much traction beyond a day or two of Faux News outrage.
Kerry remains in strong position with 19 days to go. And frankly, I'm beginning to actually want to help elect Kerry rather than just defeat Bush.
The Boston Brahmin was good in the clutch. He seized the moment. The same can't be said for the Boston Red Sox. Maybe it's better that way. If this year brings both a Bush loss and a Sox World Series win, I'd wake up on November 3rd with nothing to live for.
Best to pour your heart out for the Democrats. At least they win from time to time.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Item! North Koreans Hate Bush!
Can't wait until Friday (when Team America opens) to find out what Kim Jong-il thinks of the good ol' U.S. of A? You're in luck! Here's a gut-busting anti-Bush rock video made in North Korea. For lovers of communist kitsch. (Thanks to Angie for the link.)
Btw, everyone knows that our favorite yellowcake proliferatin' dictator has a blog, right? (Hit & miss, but worth a look.)
Back to responding to e-mail backlog.
Btw, everyone knows that our favorite yellowcake proliferatin' dictator has a blog, right? (Hit & miss, but worth a look.)
Back to responding to e-mail backlog.
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